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Joe Pass' Monthly Conservative Translator
Who the hell am I ?
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God help me.
Though shalt not have bad hair day.

This photo of myself represents the image of a desheveled America. Look closely, and you will see tired, seedy eyes hiding from the purity of the bright sun in the early morning backdrop, a lack of care toward the camera as if to say "Hey look at me, I look like shit and don't care what you think. I'm comfortable." I would say in final comparison, In certain circumstances we all stand naked and ugly. But the image and condition of our nation must be preserved by those looking to conserve.

My Biography

Born in 1971. Boston suburb. Parents Domenic and Joanna born in Boston to 1st generation Italians. Who came through Ellis Island Sometime around 1898. Currently my father has over 70 first and second cousins, all who routinely gather en masse, Usually during the Christmas holiday. Growing up in a large tradition Boston Italian family I embraced many facets of the Italian culture. Things like food, (I'll kill you if you just thought of spaghetti) music, clothing, mafia stories (right within my own blood) entreprenurial spirit, romance and sex, wine, and mostly communication. In my family, if you want to heard, you better speak up. Everyone is talking at once. It is loud. Took all those qualities in my youth and FLUSHED IT ALL DOWN THE TOILET! I became a practicing liberal. Didn't just question all authority, but refused to work within all rules and boundries. Between the ages of 15 and 26, I racked up 8 arrests ranging from grand larceny to felony distribution of class D (pot) to DUI. I attended college outside Boston, first for Architecture, then switching to Funeral Service Education. Got myself a job in the business for a while, and nights for a large but upscale Boston restaurant. During this time I discovered a species of human, no one outside its realm knows exists. Restaurant staffers. From bartenders to waitstaff, chefs and dishwashers. My wife, (then girlfriend) resided at a house were post-dinner shift parties raged and mayhem and mdness ensued. I proceeded for the sake of nighttime existance saved the small fortune I earned working constantly. It all ended when I was busted by a Massachusetts State Police Drug Enforcement agency busted an aquaintence of mine who in turn "ratted out" many in our circle. I was one and sold one of these undercover cops 24 ounces of pot. Lost my burgeoning funeral job, landed in every area newspaper with the name of my family and and their address, for all to stone and disgrace. But hey... you wanna play you gotta pay. Didn't think of the newspaper did ya kid? No... aw well now you do." Said my mob boss friend at the time. (now in prison) Sorry Ma, Dad and sisters, oh yeah right and siblings; three sisters all WAY older than me. They are ANCIENT. I married the same woman I have loved and lived with for the past 11 years. We have been married for 5 years. (we are sick of each other... SICK IN LOVE !!) She is a Vet. She hates when I say that because she is actually a Vet Tech, but she works WAY harder the the Doctors. (one's a flaming liberal, he doesn't do shit.) If you live in Boston, check out their cool site on the "Have some fun"page. We have no kids because quite frannkly, kids annoy me. What annoys me more are parents who try to "reason" with a three year old. "Oh just SHUT THAT KID UP! I'M TRYIN HAVE A DRINK HERE!"
I just don't think I'm ready yet.

Conservatives are dying!! It's true. According to the University of Michigan's NES Guide to public opinon and electoral behavior,(  Conservatives and the "war generation" or the parents of "Baby Boomers" are rapidly passing away. These are our present day grandparents and parents. That being said, we are left with Generation X'ers and Y'ers voting more frequently on "American Idol" than the polls. Scary. BRING ON HILLARY. Soon our July 4th cook outs will have "Vive Le France" banners at them. Who do you know, raised by a baby boomer, is politically conservative and knows why, through history and valid education? Email me, your sitting on a lottery ticket. Again, scary.
My Mission
First, to editorialize all ridiculous ideals based on political principles. I will only report on this forum with facts for credible sources and statistics. For instance a liberal friend told me 90% of wealthy Americans had it "handed to them through inheritance." My research shows that;
  •  27% of Americans aged 30 and over with  $100,000 or more in personal assets and equity are benefactors of an inherited estate or assets. According to National Bureau of Econmics Statistics - 2000 census.

This is a perfect example of the liberal hatred toward "one who has more", and their desire to level the playing field for all. Beware, if you want to be financially successful, liberals do want enough of your earned money, to go to ones who haven't earned it. Oh yeah and by the way, those liberals have the power to do it, they are our mayors, congressmen, senators and presidents AND WE ELECT THEM! SO ASK YOURSELF ONE QUESTION, DO YOU WANT THE MONEY YOU EARN? DO YOU WANT TO PICK AND CHOOSE WHICH CHARITIES TO GIVE TO? THEN WAKE UP VOTE CONSERVATIVE AND LEAVE YOUR FELLOW CITIZENS ALONE! Don't screw us in the booth come November. Another thing about the wealthy class, If you've ever wondered where hospitals and the equipment and jobs within come from, the answer: Rich people. Same for museums, parks, conservation land, zoos, churches, education facilities, and many other amenities we all enjoy and need everyday. Am I rich, not by a long shot. I'm a guy whose family came here from a foreign nation with nothing including the English language... Built up businesses, got jobs, worked hard, learned the language, and yielded a family of thousands of American nationals dating back 125 years. I have some wealthy relatives, who busted their ass to get what they have, and if they hand it down, God Bless them. sure I've resented some rich characters with overpriced cars and clothes. but resentment is not justified because I can't afford Abercrombie and Fitch.

Second, to illustrate the difference between an "MTV" and "PBS" mind. Since its inception in 1981, MTV has had a profound impression on the youth psyche whether it be through fashion, political agenda, behavioral parameters and of course... music. This could be the single-most dangerous progression in society. Here's an example; MTV's "The Real World" the world first successful attempt at "reality television". so let me make sure I understand, college kids put up in a great big apartment with 9 other kids, free of charge, in different situations, all the while slipping into outrageous squabbles and tiffs. Each one interviewed alone by a huge TV crew asking their opinion about who's "dissed" who. WAS THIS YOUR LIFE? It wasn't mine. Meanwhile on the now, many channels provided by Discovery and other independent cable networks, verything to be learned about life can be learned from factual history. FACT OF LIFE - KIDS OF ALL AGES ARE IMPRESSIONABLE, THEY DO WHAT THEY THINK IS COOL.

Third, to help people realize that someting very drastic occured sometime during the 1960's that completely changed America forever. Some philosophies executed by the "Baby Boomer" generation.

  • "If it feels good, do it."
  • "Question authority." (taken to the extreme)
  • "Our children CAN be our friends"
  • "Your children can respect you with out fear."
  • "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." (sexual revolution)
  • "you can reason with a child" (age 1 - 18)

I have attended in access of 20 Grateful Dead concerts, smoked, snorted, drank, and ate just about every drug under the sun, and have come to realize that song lyrics and fashion are only what they are, not to be lived by. You like new alternative rock, fine so do I, but I be so stupid as to wonder why my face piercing are impeding my ability to find a GOOD paying job. Oh and by the way, you metal laden face makes 75% of the world want to either puke on you, or beat you more senseless than you already are. The "Baby boomer mentality has allowed their children to really think individualism has NO boundries. It is my strong belief the the "Baby Boomer" generation has the single most destructive internal force in United States history. We as a people have lost more integrity on an international scale in the last 40 years than ever before in our 227 year history as a nation. I am a "Generation X'er" The only reason why I have any preserved decency, is solely because I had a strong family unit, steeped in conservatism to fall back on after my many years of acting under my own youthful philosophy. By the way, if you have a kid, he/she is no more special than any other, seriously!

I hope this provides you with an understanding of my political positioning.

Sincerely and respectfully,
You humble correspondent,
Joe Pass

"He not busy being born, is busy dying."  -  Bob Dylan